Postal
by Zgirl714
Summary: Filch has had it up to here....


Title:Postal Disclaimer:I dont own harry potter, all rights to harry potter go to J.K. Rowlings and Warner Brothers. Notes: This is the second version of this story the other one wasn't beta'd.  
  
'Damn kids, damn teachers, damn magical ability' Argus Filch thought as he mopped a spot on a green tiled corridor floor again because some 4th year was trailing mud. 'damn kids' he kept thinking as he finished the corridor.  
  
Then suddenly Hagrid came inside with mud caked boots getting mud all over the freshly cleaned floor.  
  
'THAT STUPID DAMNED HALF GIANT' Filch was seeing red. Then it just happened- The chandelier above Hagrid just fell and hit him on the head. 'That was me I did that. I'm not a squib after all!' Filch thought excitedly as he called out acting worried:"Hagrid's gotten hit someone get madam Pomfey!". *hours later at dinner...* "I know that most of you are worried about if Hagrids' Okay-" Dumbledore said before he was rudely interrupted by the Malfoy boy saying rather loudly, "not really." Dumbledore give him a hard look "As I was saying Hagrid is OK, it turns out the chandelier was very unstable, due to matters that we are not yet sure of. Now eat up!" Filch went cold 'I'm still a squib, it wasn't me DAMMIT!' he looked around seeing the students laughing and talking about classes and other things. 'I didn't get this when I was a young boy, but they are. I deserve all of this and they don't.' Filch was thinking as he started to grin, he had a plan forming, a very evil one...  
  
House elves scurried by as Argus Filch walked into the kitchens. "Belle, could you get me some of your lovely little cakes?" he asked sweetly as he could to a house elf. "Yes sir coming right up!" she squeaked before running off. 'Good' Argus thought evilly, for at this time night Belle was the only house elf with kitchen duty. He took some vials out of his pocket and walked around the kitchen pouring powders into the pots and pans containing tomorrow's breakfast. "some special seasoning," he murmured evilly... *the next day* Professor Macgonagall could not believe it 40 students from all different houses were in the infirmary, the school was in an uproar, parents were owling left and right. Children were sicker than dogs and dropping like flies. Snape was busy whipping up potions for all of them. Rumors were flying that some one poisoned the food, two house elves had gotten clothes. 'What are we going to do' thought Professor Macgonagall worriedly; that was her last thought before collapsing. It was dark and almost everyone was asleep, except Filch of course. He was walking into the Hufflepuff Common Room; he had an evil grin that kept getting bigger as he got closer to the fire. Then he took a vial out of his pocket. Mrs. Norris's eyes glowing out of the darkness reflecting the fire was the only one to see what Filch did next. Screams woke most in the ravenclaw dormitories the next morning, Ravenclaws scrambled out of their tower to find three Hufflepuffs yelling about how no one else in there house was waking up. The ravenclaw prefects went to get the professors, who all had terror in their eyes. The Daily Prophet was have a field day, 60 students an entire house. All sick, some of them on the verge of death. Students were being taking home, everyone was scared, especially since Professor Macgonagall fell ill. It seemed no one was immune. Filch grinned as he read the paper, but as he did, a dark figure made it's way into Filches office vial in hand. The mysterious person put powders in the fire and in Mrs. Norris's food dish. Two faculty members and seventy-six students were all ill and the number count was rising rapidly when it suddenly happened. A student died. It was 5th year Lisa Turpin, a very quiet Ravenclaw prefect. The very day students were a being rushed home Argus made his move. As the students were getting on the train, Argus Filch stepped out with a gun and started shooting wildly at whoever came in front of him. Screams filed the air, Filch adding his own, "DAMN YOU YOU STUPID KIDS I FINALLY GOT Ya! HA HA HA. I MADE YOU SICK FOR WEEKS AND NOW I FINALLY GOT YA!" He was screaming wildly before a blonde-haired student pushed him down and punched him hard on the side of the head, knocking him unconscious. Draco Malfoy back away from Filch as soon as he was down. Now instead of screams there was a deadly silence soon followed by whispers: "...filch did it that git...." People rushed to help the wounded, the press was starting to get there. Rita skeeter pushed forward, "Mr.Malfoy, is this true did you stop the madman?" Draco turned to her and smiled and said modestly "Well I guess so!" by the end of the week everyone had agreed that it was Filch, after finding poison in his room. Draco was herald a hero. *Later that Week* Draco Malfoy was walking along the lake, when the giant squid flopped a tenticle out of the water bringing it back down with a 'bang'. Lake water hit draco full in the face, sputtering draco fumbled in his pockets looking for his wand. blinking trying to get water out of his eyes he pulls out a vial. smirking he throws the vial into the lake. finally getting his wand he drys himself off and walks back to the school. 


End file.
